I’m Samuel, but my friends call me Sam. Nice to meet you. 17, male, junior in high school, athlete, swimmer, eater, writer…. you get where I’m coming from.
This blog will be mostly my opinions on a lot of topics, especially ones relating to being an adolescent, being gay, and finding self-worth.
I think I’m learning that the only way you can move forward and be happy in life is to just be honest…and be yourself.
Some of my favorite things…
Sports: swimming, gymnastics, running, volleyball, soccer. Although I’m not officially on any teams, I live a very active lifestyle.
Music: Amy Winehouse, Sting & The Police, Adele, Jeff Buckley, Coldplay, The Killers, Augustana, Carole King, Cat Stevens, Florence + the Machine, Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, Crystal Castles, Mumford and Sons, Lana Del Rey
Movies: “Black Swan”, “The Hours”, “The Silence of the Lambs”, “Romeo + Juliet”, “East of Eden”, “Hocus Pocus”, “Finding Nemo”
Books: By Nightfall, The Hours, The Secret, Unbearable Lightness, Interview With the Vampire, Ordinary People, Playing for Pizza, The Thirteenth Tale
TV Shows: “My So-Called Life”, “Will & Grace”, “Top Chef”, “The Golden Girls” (haha my mom totally got me hooked!)
Websites:
- http://www.outsports.com/ (a HUGE thank you to Jim for taking an interest in my blog and helping to spread the word- it means a lot)
- http://www.advocate.com/
- http://www.itgetsbetter.org/
- http://www.thetrevorproject.org/
- http://www.pointfoundation.org/index10.html (scholarship foundation for LGBT students)
- http://brookemummau.blogspot.com/ (My close friend is studying abroad in France; please visit her blog, she is hilarious!
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Hello, I’ve nominated your blog for THE VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARD! Yippieeeeeeeee!! Check it out http://verynormal.wordpress.com/2011/09/21/versatile-blogger-award/
Thank you so much
Your comment was very kind too, it’s very appreciated! I don’t think I know 15 other bloggers yet haha so I may have to wait on this, but thank you for mentioning this blog anyways- it means a lot! And I’ll link you here so people see your blog: http://verynormal.wordpress.com/
Thank you lovely
and I know your a new blog so its okies!
Enjoy blogging.
I love your blog. It reminds me so much of my own experiences coming out. I am always really proud of people who come out in their teen years. Although its difficult, I can attest to the fact that when you look back later in life, it will be a defining moment in claiming your own life and your own identity. Kudos to you and your willingness to share.
Thank you so much, that means a great deal. I feel like this is the year, I mean it’s sort of like now or never haha so I’m sort of building myself up to that moment. Thank you so much, and also thank you for reading!
You are a cool and intelligent person just by reading your “About”. One thing I love about blogging and social networking and even youtube its a great way to express yourself and be who you really are. I used myspace.com to come out at your age and when my parents found out it didn’t happen the way I thought it would or wanted it to. Every coming out story is and will be different. Its good to remember that your not alone and to find some support for when family and friends find out. When I came out and was in the process of it I never had support and thought I was all alone on my journey. You have my support on own journey and will be following you along the way.
Keep your chin up.
Thank you so much for your compliments! That’s what I came to realize about this blog, that I can just post my own thoughts and feelings and not feel judged for them. I’ll remember what you said, and thanks for the advice! It means a lot.
Hi, Sam
I’m old enough to be your grandfather, but I certainly remember being your age, knowing I was gay, and being so afraid to do anything about it. I ended up waiting until I was 50 before coming out, but I’ve not regretted a moment of the time since then. I am so proud of young people like you who are taking this step to claim your life for yourself. The very best of luck to you.
Thank you so much! I especially loved where you said you haven’t regretted a moment of the time since you came out. I have so much respect for people like you as well, I mean right now the world is so much more accepting than it was when you grew up- I mean you and other LGBT people who are adults have so much strength for courage for putting up with all of that. I’m glad your life is great now, and thank you so much- the best of luck to you too!
heey Sam, yr too kewl, and i ADMIRE your strength, COURAGE, and DETERMINATION…Congrads! to you..you will suceed….CHIN UP, ALWAYS, VERY PROUD OF YOU,an YOUR “CHOICES” Dont EVER back down….GOOD LUCK to you, NOW n ALWAYS, STAY SAFe…STAY WELL…CODY J (a ret. USMC who’s 3 times yr age,lol)
Thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot!
Thank you for serving our country as a marine as well!
You’ve got our support too, Sam! Keep your head held high and keep sharing your journey.
—Your friends at Instinct Magazine
Thank you so much! And thank you for posting that article about me and my blog!!
Good Stuff… I was once a 16 yr old Pennsylvanian in high school and I find it great that you are so self aware without being overly self involved. Also the fact that you like My So-called life makes me chuckle. It was my favorite show (still is one of them) and I definitely was part of the campaign to save it, clearly we failed but good to have a cause eh? hahah Ah… the power of Angela and Jordan. Anyway, Cheers and Well done to the pursuit of self worth and understanding.
With Regards.
Thank you so much for commenting! Haha that show is still living on though. It did end way too early; the cliffhanger still gives me nightmares…haha totally kidding, but it was a very powerful television show!
Thank you so much
Your most welcome. I think my favorite episodes were / are the Christmas one and the one when they go to the dance, the song that the band is playing. WOW! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyUnP3y-QRk check it out. Also, I don’t know if your into Dance but I am a choreographer if your bored. Check out my work.
http://www.youtube.com/user/Mtjr12281
Take Care.
It wouldn’t let me reply again on your second post, so I had to reply again on this. I loved that tribute haha I’ve seen it a few times before, I have that song on my ipod lol. Those episodes are great, I always loved “Guns & Gossip” one. And I need to finish the dance video, I saw half, and it was so cool! Your choreography is very loose but detailed and has a lot of movement; I really like that. I loved when they did the jump thing and then rolled on the ground- it’s very good! Thanks for sharing
Good choice (guns and…) And thank you. I appreciate the feedback:) Take Care:)
Hi Sam. I just stumbled onto your blog and I have to commend you. You are incredible self-aware and honest with your feelings – much more so than I was at your age. I came out in my late 20′s (I’m now 50) and I can assure you that once you are able to really be at peace with who you are, the rest of the people in your life will also come around and be at peace with it, too. I was so stressed about it before I came out. Now I can’t imagine being anything but who I really am. Hang in there bud!
Thank you for the compliments, it means a lot. That quote about being at peace with yourself and how the people in your life will be at peace with you too- is so wonderful and inspiring! Thanks so much
Hey Sam, Congrats on your courage and conviction. My partner and I are here today to tell you ‘it get’s better.’ I live in Malaysia and I read about your blog on Towleroad. We were once like you. Questioning, searching, scared, fearful, apprehensive, wondering. But you grow to realise that much of the fear is in your own head and your own heart. That people are truly a lot more accepting than we might think. Oh yes, you will come accross a few dickheads but in the main, people, even parents, are good folk. We live in a predominantly Muslim country that has laws against homosexuality. Where prosecutions against homosexuals happen. And where laws about ‘carnal knowledge against the order of nature’ still exist. But even here, in our larger cities, acceptance is the rule rather than the exception. So hang in there. It’ll be amazing. Get on with what you love.
Thanks so much for commenting, it means a lot
I’ll take your advice.
And it’s really cool that you take the time to reply to each and every comment. Keep it up
Have a great weekend. I’m already into a bright Saturday mid-morning here.
HI Sam,
towleroad.com made a link to outsports.com covering you. They follow a lot of political, and also social LGBT news.
Your a great writer Sam . . stop swearing though.
Michael
that was very nice of them. Thanks for the comment, and I’m sorry if my language offends you! When I write these posts, I write how I think, and that isn’t always with nice words haha
Does not offend at all. You should for sure write how you feel. It always translates into more passion for the reader.
Oh. I was a swimmer in high school too, and I was in the closet. That was ackward. I’m happy that you get to do what I was not able or to scared to do.
I agree, it isn’t the best experience being closeted. But thank you so much, though I’m just as scared.
Hi Sam,
I love your blog. I just happened to come across your blog on Think Progress and couldn’t stop until I read all your posts! You have an amazing spirit and a kind heart. With all the ignorance, hatred and bigotry out in the world, Its saddening that people are always going to find scapegoats to feel superior. If anything, it is this behavior that is not normal and not natural. Honesty is important in every relationship we have in life, but its also important to be honest with ourselves.
Have a great weekend. Cheers!
TJ
Thank you so much, that means a lot, and your comment was beautiful, I agree with all that you wrote. And thanks so much for the compliments. I hope you have a wonderful weekend as well!
Cool blog. I grew up in Quakertown and commend you for your bravery. Oh the places you’ll go! Be strong and know there are people everywhere pulling for you.
Thank you for reading, and for the support!
Congratulations Sam! Reading this totally brought me back to when I came out. I just wish I had your courage to do it when I was in high school! I’m always so happy to see kids your age able to be themselves and to be proud of who they are. You’ve got great parents which is so important during this process. All the best to you!
Hey Sam!
First off, congratulations on coming out! I saw your blog on a website and you have a really cool story. Very much proud of you dude, the amount of courage you had. I hope and wish you the best, and know that there will be ups and downs, people who will hurt you, ridicule you- but also people who will accept and love you.
Don’t ever be anything that you are not. I have had the same feelings you had, when it comes to being out and an athlete, but it is getting better. Being gay (or whatever you think you are) is not about what you wear, or how you act, or how you talk (the stereotypes)… but it is about who you love. Don’t ever conform to others’ expectations, just be you.
I was an out athlete, and there are many more. Actually I just joined a basketball league (a gay/straight league), and I play ball with some of the best people ever.
Very inspirational dude. Hang in there and always keep your head up!
Tim
P.s Give your parents some time (I came out when I was 17- now 23- and my parents finally just came around, yet I still can’t talk to them about sex stuff..ha)
Tim you are right to give parents time. When I came out which felt more like being outed when I was 16 a few months before I was 17 and I’m now 21 soon to be 22 and they are the same way just now coming around and there are some things I can’t talk to them about and sex stuff isn’t really one of those topics I would feel comfortable about talking with them about lol.
Hi Sam, I also read about you on Towleroad ( I highly recommend this blog to you!) I’m not sure where you reside, but my partner and I are volunteer leaders at Youth Pride Atlanta a GLBTQ youth center in Atlanta GA created ESPECIALLY for youth such as yourself!
I am impressed by your bravery, sensitivity and resolve in coming out to your family and friends at such a young age. Many a group meeting which I facilitate at the center revolve around “coming out issues” and fears. My spouse is a Psychotherapist who deals with youth in his practice going through these issues as well. Kudos! Good luck to you!
We’re “rooting for you” here in Atlanta!
Cheers! Darryl
Notes from my story might give you broader perspective: My partner was 25 years older than I and he grew up at a time when homosexuality was not considered simply wrong, it was a family dishonor. He and I lived together for 27 years under the fiction that I was his foster-son. When he passed away, about 12 years ago, I came out to all of our friends — it was no surprise to any of them. I’m now out in every aspect of my life. My partner lived his life under the terror that, if anyone knew “the truth,” they couldn’t love him; I’m so sorry he missed the full acceptance and love all of our wonderful friends, straight, gay and otherwise would so freely have given. He was a warm, wise, and generous person who deserved all the love our friends would give, but his early experience of institutional homophobia made him incapable of crossing that particular Rubicon — and he was so courageous in so many ways! It disgusts me, now, to see the likes of Michele Bachmann and her ilk eager to cripple too many of my younger gay brothers and sisters with the outdated attitudes that denied my partner the love he deserved.
Keep up the good work, Sam; your struggles will be different from those of older generations, but bigotry is ever reborn in different guises.
Have you heard of the book THE SECRET HISTORY by Donna Tartt? It is amazing and beautifully written.
I’ve got all three James Dean movies. EAST OF EDEN is so-o-o-o-o good. GIANT is…just too much. REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE breaks my heart.
Have you seen the version of ROMEO AND JULIET from 1968? It is filmatic genius. I remember when I was a freshman in high school, my mom had to sign a permission slip for me to see the film in English class because of Leonard Whiting’s amazing naked butt.
I’ll look into that book.
I have “East of Eden” and “Giant” but I still didn’t see “Giant”. I have to see “Rebel Without A Cause” as well; though i do have a poster of Dean in my room to make up for that lol.
I didn’t see that version yet; and after the butt comment, it’s now topping my priority list haha jk
Bobby, we saw the Zeffirelli version of Romeo and Juliet in HS too (1978). It’s an awesome movie, and the soundtrack/theme song have stuck with me to this day.
There’s a book I read a few times in grade school that I always treasured and finally found through Amazon.com. It’s called “Voice of Apollo” by Mary Ray, and it chronicles two boys in ancient Greece, the Olympic games, loss, reunion, growing into adulthood. There is nothing sexual about it, but rather it speaks to a very close friendship between the two main characters. I think you might like it, Sam.
Forget Amazon on this one, they want too much. If you’re interested, here’s a link with much more affordable prices on this book:
http://www.alibris.com/search/books/qwork/7075165/used/The%20voice%20of%20Apollo
Thank you for the suggestion, I’ll definitely look into it!
Hi Sam,
Congratulations on coming out, and I hope it all works out well for you. Been reading your blog since Towleroad first linked to it. Quick suggestions for you: if you haven’t seen “Beautiful Thing” or “Maurice” yet, get thee to a movie store. And take it slow with your parents. If you give them a year to get over the emotions that they’re feeling, and use gentle persuasion, they will need far less time.
Thank you so much!
I’ve never seen those movies, I’ll have to look into them!
Thanks for the advice as well
Pingback: Advice To Newly-Minted Gays | tracingthetree
It’s Friday night. Tampa Bay is winning. I wish I could be in the arms of a nice guy and not lonely. Can’t rush things though. How about you? Going to Homecoming?
Like your letter to your parents – That was hard for me to do. I told you pretty much about me. It wasn’t easy either.
Hey Sam,
It’s people like you who will define the future as a time of truth and integrity for LGBT people, not just in America but globally. Every great wind begins with a small breath and you are making that happen. Courage and persistence against adversity. No mater how old you are as a gay person you will encounter resistance from ignorant and blind people who refuse to see the beauty and variety of human sexuality. Don’t waste time with trying to persuade homophobic jerks to like you. They are committed to their ignorance–especially the religious ones who quote the bible to justify their hate.
Move on to beauty and love of life in all forms.
I am also a swimmer, all my 70 years, beginning at 15 and now I’ve competed in all the Gay Games (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_Games) and Out Games (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Outgames)–favorite race is the 200 IM– looking forward to the next Games in ’12 and ’13. Consider participating. The experience of ten thousand LGBT athletes is extremely validating.
Bravo for you!
Richard Ammon
micamm@globalgayz.com
Website: http://globalgayz.com/ (my LGBT travel and culture website)
Thank you so much for your beautiful comment, it means so much. I hope I can make a change to someone, somehow. That’s wonderful advice to move on to beauty and love of life.
That’s so exciting! I really want to do those competitions as well when I’m older- seeing all those athletes must be incredibly validating!
Thank you
Hello Sam. Some call me Sam, too… but, I am not Sam. =)
I stumbled in here from the name.. and, was impressed with your writing.
I like that you wrote here, “I think I’m learning that the only way you can move forward and be happy in life is to just be honest…and be yourself.”
At 16, you have already figured out what it takes so many people decades to learn. Keep up the good work.
Hello!
Thank you so much
All the best!
Hi Sam. I saw your blog mentioned recently in an article I read on Outsports.com about a high school football player coming to his community. I’m making a film about the National Gay Flag Football League and thought you might find it interesting. Our web-site is flagfootballthemovie.com and you can find the facebook page from there. I like to think we’re doing something good here. If you agree, feel free to join the cause. I’m looking forward to checking in on your blog.
Best,
Seth
Nice to meet you! I actually remember seeing a video which you guys made, like a trailer for that movie or a similar one about football. I’ll definitely check it out!
greetings from the uk Sam started reading you blog today congratulations on coming out at such a young age I was out just before my 16 th birthday
i didn’t intend to do it so soon but it was the decision am much happier knowing its not a secret love the blog
Lee